long time ago,
i had a boyfriend.
yah..
gw punya sekitar 5 pacar cowok tapi yang berkesan cuma 2.
yang paling berkesan adalah yang ke 4.
...
kenapa di catatan kali ini gw teringat dia?
karena akhir akhir ini gw sering ngobrol sama dia lewat socmed.
actually he was the best boyfriend i ever had.
why?
because he sincerely loved me.
and now i don't know what he felt; but i'm sure he doesn't like me now, after what i've done to him, when he said..
" i don't want in a relationship as it was in the past."
yes, as you wish. lagian gw emang ga pantes buat kamu.
who is he?
he is my 4th ex-boyfriend. but i was his first girlfriend. unbelievable, right? but that's the fact. he is a gifted boy as i know. and he is busy in math and college. he takes engineering.
and he isn't Indonesian.
i have 11 months relationship with him.
i'm not gonna tell you about how i met him.
but i will tell you how we used to love each other, how he used to care, how i admired him, how my friends felt envy with me xD and how everything was going to be worst then.. we broke up.
everyday we talked, through phone, gmail, skype, facebook.
he sent me messages everyday. told about his activities. i liked to talk to him through gmail. and i often talked to his mother, marty *his little sister* and his father. his family liked me. i was thankful about it.
i also did that.
i texted him about my school *i was in a relationship with him since last grade of senior high school*, my activities, etc.
it was fine until i was starting entering college.
when i was in semester one he sent me letters and some accesoriss through post. from europe to asia.. how much does it costs? Dia ngirimin gw surat khusus buat gw, puisi buat mama gw, 3 puisi buat gw. lain kali bakal gw publish puisi buatan dia xD. Trus dia ngirim origami dinosaurus 2, kaus kaki xD sama postcard bruxsell belgianya xD.
i read it. it touched me, really. he is really different with other boys.
he is really mature.
then.. i hurt him that i said we can not be like this forever.
you are a witness of jehovah; a loyal worshippers
and I'm a moslem, worship Allah, and Muhammad pbuh. is my last prophet after Isa al-masih.
how can we be together and become one if our religions are extremely different?
then we broke up.
then when i often send him messages, he said like this:
laura, still you have a romance feeling towards me?
" penantian yang ditangguhkan membuat hati sakit, tetapi keinginan yang benar benar terwujud adalah pohon pohon kehidupan" (amsal 13:12)
i don't want in a relationship as it was in the past."
yeah. i know it. i don't mean to have a relationship with you again.
trus, kemarin kan baru baru ini abis perayaan paskah.
gw debat sama dia masalah kelahiran yesus kristus.
gw bilang sama dia gw ga percaya yesus disalib buat nebus dosa, soalnya di islam tiap orang nanggung dosanya masing masing. dan dari cara dia ngomong sih.. kayaknya dia sedih gw bukan termasuk pengikut yesus *soalnya dia selalu nyusupin ayat injil ke gw*
trus gw ngomong kalo di islam cara kelahiran isa atau yesus diterangkan seperti "ini" dan dia nerangin ke gw versi kristennya.
gw rasa,
dia maunya gw masuk agama dia.
tapi itu ga akan berhasil..
akhir akhir ini gw ngobrol sama dia tentang mens gw.
cekidot:
---> gw cerita ttg penderitaan gw mengalami menstruasi; tiap haid kayak orang beranak, rasanya mo mati, pingsan, muntah, kejang
trus dia bales gini:
"
Hm.... forgive me, it's hard to imagine (i'm a boy). You said, you felt that you were going to die..., it's so hard. No girl told me about her menstruation except you. My imagination skills are limited... But God knows precisely how your body is working, and how you feel. I'm sure you can tell Him anything. Anytime. If you face hard things, if you face menstruation. Look, i've found something interesting about prayer (in the Mazmur of King David (Mazmur 62:8)):
"Percayalah kepada dia setiap waktu, hai, umat.
Di hadapan dia curahkanlah hatimu.
Allah adalah perlindungan bagi kita."
If a glass is full of liquid, how dou you pour the water out of it?
God would like you to "pour" your heart.
I'm sorry, i have to say that maybe you begin to menstruate. Maybe God doesn't change your body to delay your menstruation period. If you menstruate, and it's terrible, maybe you could think:
There are girls who don't menstruate at all, and they would give many many things to be able to menstruate. They feel sorrow for being infertile. And of course, you can pray. Maybe you can still tell your story well if you menstruate.
Take care! "
sebenarnya gw cerita gini bukannya karena gw kangen dia atau gw masih sayang dia.
entah kenapa gw cuma mau ngebahas ini aja xD
gw bales gini:
"
Hello!
Now it's 06.38 a.m here. I woke up at 06.00. yes Andor, my body didn't delay my period; last evening I've gotten my period when i wanted to start practice to perform.
It's strange, you know. I don't know that I am the first girl who told you this. But I wasn't your first ex girlfriend, right?
Honestly, although it is suffering me, with all these painful things, it taught me something. If pain of menstruation is like this, then how about a mother or mothers all around the world who feel pain when giving birth? I can't imagine it.
when I feel such pain like this Im crying. Mother is so precious. We need to respect mother. I remember my sins to my mother. And I swear, I will never ever make my mother sad anymore. what she wants, i will follow her. and i will take care of her.
manythings i can learn when i feel pain during menstruate. because i can't do anything unless lying on the bed, it teaches me to be patient.
Although I feel pain every months, but after two days of period its usually gone. and I never be lated on my period; I always get it every month. I have a friend, called *****, she told me a few weeks ago about her period. she said she didnt get period each months.. sometimes 3 months later or 4 months later.. when i heard it i thought whether its good or bad. i think its bad, it calls... infertile?
and she just had period for 3 days.
i have my period for 5-6 days every months.
I still be thankful to God ^-^ He wouldn't give me such problems I can't handle or out of my ability. I believe God taught me to be respect to mother through this pain.
- Sabtu
trus dia bales:
" Hi!
Well, as i see, girls usually don't talk about their menstruation to boys. Why do you think that i had another girlfriend before you? You were my first and last girlfriend up to this day. And i'm not trying to get a girlfriend now, and i have good reason.
I like your that you are thankful towards your mother.
As for *****... I've read that many women don't care too much about their menstruation whether it goes as it should or not. But anything wrong with the menstruation might occur because of a problem that needs a doctor. I would like to ask you, that you go and tell ***** to go to a doctor as soon as possible. She has menstruation now, but maybe, if she doesn't do anything, she can have a serious problem, maybe she becomes infertile... who knows. Ask her whether she has been to a gynecologist, and if she hasn't, send her immediately to doctor. I know that you will know understand that this is extremely important. This is a fastidious topic... Maybe she doestn't want to go to a doctor, because this problem seems to make no trouble. But maybe, when the problem becomes worse, it is late.
You are right: God doesn't let us face too much, that we cannot handle.
